Life's Path

Saturday, April 30, 2011

January 2010...HOPE???

A few posts back I mentioned that I had a test that found a fibroid and now I am meeting with my Gynecologist to discuss what we do with this.  January 9th Glenn and I met with Dr. Mayo and we discussed having surgery.  I have been through surgeries with Dr. Mayo a few times for my Endometriosis so I am not worried about this upcoming surgery at all.  We will just have to wait for a surgery date and take it from there.

January 16-20 Glenn took a much needed break to Phoenix Arizona.  He has been through so much with me and has been a star at it but he needs to escape the madness as well.  So we book him a trip to see our friends in Phoenix that I stayed with just a few months earlier and my brother Todd will be there as well.  They had a good time relaxing, golfing and Glenn got to see Alice Cooper's restaurant which was a huge highlight for him (Glenn is a HUGE Alice Cooper fan)  I was really happy that Glenn got this time away from all the madness going on back home.

While Glenn was away, I had an appointment with Dr. Bailey, another Gastrointestinal (GI) specialist.  We are desperately trying to figure out why I have so many issues with my bowels.  This appointment happens on January 18th.  I had an incredible appointment, at least at first.  Dr. Bailey asked me many many questions about my health history and we had some really good discussions.  Again, I felt that I was being listened to and that he was going to try and help me out.  He decides to do some major blood work on me.  And I mean major.  So many things were ticked off on that lab requisition that I didn't know what could possibly be left to check.  I mean everything from HIV to being pregnant etc.  I felt like he was leaving no stone unturned.  I was feeling really positive.  He even brought in an intern doctor to discuss what could be wrong with me.  Then the appointment took a turn for the worse.

Dr. Bailey wants to put me on steroids.  He has NOT come up with what is wrong with me but wants me to try a steroid treatment to see if I can get any improvement.  My defenses go up but I don't let him know this just yet.  I do tell him that I am not comfortable with taking a steroid without knowing why or what it would be possibly treating.  He tells me that with all I have been through in the last year and some that they have to try something.  We finish up our appointment and I book a follow-up appointment to see him in 6 weeks to see how things are going.  I take my lab requisition and a prescription for steroids home with me.  The appointment lasted over an hour.  I drive home discouraged.

The next day I go for my blood work.  In total, it would have been 24 tubes of blood but the lab techs figured they could get away with only taking 17 tubes of blood and that some of the tests there would be enough blood to do some other tests.  They are blown away by what the doctor is checking for.  When all the labels for the blood work is printed off, when the lady held the labels above her head they fell to the ground in length and then some.  They drew the blood and then refused to let me go until I drank 2 juice boxes.  I felt fine but they wanted to make sure.  All that blood taken, they better find something wrong!

I go home and book an appointment with my doctor, Dr. Boyko for the next day.  I see him on January 20th.  I tell him about my appointment with Dr. Bailey and then tell him about the steroids.  He immediately confirms my thoughts.  He tells me that there is no way that I should be taking steroids without knowing what we would be "treating".  Steroids is not something that you mess around with and just easily take.  They are very hard on your body and it takes time to get off them.  It is just not an avenue that my doctor is willing to take me down.  I am instantly relieved.  You have to listen to that small voice in your head telling you something is wrong.  When you have a gut feeling about something, act on it.  Don't ignore it.  It is there for a reason.  I am so thankful that I listened to mine.  I go home and I throw the prescription in the garbage.  I am sure that 6 weeks from now will be an interesting conversation when I see Dr. Bailey again.  Stay tuned!     

Monday, April 25, 2011

December 15 & 22nd 2009

I am being sent for another CT Scan.  Again, they are trying to figure out where this inflammation is in my body and if they can see anything else.  So off I go again for more pictures.  I have my appointment at the Royal Alex Hospital on December 15th.

A few days later I get a phone call to see my doctor.  So I go and see him on the 22nd.  They have found something on my CT Scan.  This is good news??!!  Maybe we have our answer???!!!

The CT Scan showed some spots on my lungs.  The report reads as this "In the posterior segment of the right upper lobe, there are four or five small patchy areas of ground glass attenuation.  These are nonspecific.  These are likely related to an infectious or inflammatory etiology.  Correlation with Patient's symptoms is recommended and radiographic follow could be performed if clinically warranted."

In our everyday language, I have some spots on my right lung that are possibly from an infection or inflammation.  My doctor is ecstatic that we may have found where this inflammation is coming from.  I am now going to be seeing a lung specialist to see what is up.  They will most likely have to scope my lungs, which doesn't sound like fun but I am so looking forward to having some answers finally!  The New Year should bring some really good news for us!  I am ready for 2010!  Bring it!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Grey Cup 2009

November 2009 was a time of rest for the most part.  I had no scheduled appointments with doctors and no testing being done.  It was kind of nice to have a break and to just get some much needed rest and let my body try and do some healing.

For those who don't know, Glenn and I got married on November 24, 2001.  We got married on Grey Cup weekend so that we could celebrate many Grey Cups and anniversaries together.  If it works out, we plan to be at a Grey Cup during our anniversary weekend.  We are so lucky that this year the Grey Cup was in Calgary.  We have had our tickets for months and we are ready to head to Calgary and have a weekend of fun and watch the big game.  This year was a real treat as the Saskatchewan Roughriders were in the Grey Cup and the city was abuzz with excitement as Roughrider fans are numerous in every city throughout Canada and to have them in the big game=big excitement.

We headed to Calgary the evening of the 27th and we stayed at my wonderful Uncle and Aunt, Herb and Vicki's home.  The 28th Glenn and I met up with good friends Rae Ann and Sheldon and their kids to have lunch with them and to meet their new daughter who came into their family a couple of months earlier.  It was a wonderful time to catch up with them and to see the new family.

After lunch, Glenn and I then headed to downtown Calgary to take part in the Grey Cup festivities.  There was so much going on and the energy was high.  The trick was to keeping my energy high enough for the day.  Our goal was to head to "Riderville" and to party with the Saskatchewan fans.  Problem is, the line up is blocks long to get into the venue!  Now, it isn't very often that we use Glenn's celebrity status as an alumni football player with the CFL but sometimes you have to try and use it.  This was one of those moments.  But man, the security there did not care who you were.  A few minutes after us trying to get in, some of Glenn's former teammates showed up (Craig Ellis and Henry "Gizmo" Williams) and we all tried to get in.  Now, if you don't know who Gizmo is, he is a pretty big deal in the CFL.  The fans waiting in line were pretty pumped to see him there.  But we STILL couldn't get in.  After lots of talking and whatever, they finally let us all into the venue.  Phew, we made it!  But by this time, I am starting to fade fast.

But the energy is high in the room and I am trying to go off of that.  It was lots of fun to be there and to see all those crazy Roughrider fans.  It truly was an experience to be in Riderville!
Gizmo with Rider fans at Riderville

I really don't want to leave the party, but at the same time, I am just physically exhausted.  I don't want to ruin Glenn's fun either.  He is meeting up with alumni and I don't want to pull him away from that.  I finally find a chair and I tell Glenn that I am just going to be over in the corner "resting" for a little bit.  I sit on that chair for awhile, just hoping to give my body some rest and to get some energy back.  It helps a little bit and I muster up enough energy so that we can all head over to the Edmonton Eskimo party, the "Spirit of Edmonton".  By now there are about a dozen Eskimo alumni together as we head to the Spirit of Edmonton.  Again, the line ups are long.  Again, we have to work some magic to get into the venue.  We get in and I am just fighting back the exhaustion, the pain, the nausea, the tingling and numbness etc.  Again, I don't want to ruin the moment, but I am seriously falling apart physically.  I have to remember that we still have to attend the game tomorrow afternoon and I don't want to do myself in so badly that I can't go to the game.  With tears in my eyes, I finally go to Glenn and tell him that I am just done.  I can't do it anymore.  We have to go back to my aunt and uncle's and I have to get rest.  Glenn is totally understanding and we leave.  Despite what is going on with my body, we still did manage to have a good day.  It just could have been a really good day if we weren't having to deal with my stupid body.

Sunday morning, the day of Grey Cup, we wake up and I am still a mess.  I have a bath in my aunt's big jetted tub to try and get some relief.  I take massive amounts of pain killers and try to just get myself functioning.  Thank goodness we don't have to be at the game until later in the afternoon.  Thanks goodness the weather is decent and I know I am not going to be freezing cold and trying to keep my body functioning from extreme chills and shakes. (But truth be told, when I do feel good, I think that a great Grey Cup is when it is cold and me crazy!!)  The game was a good one, one of the craziest endings in history and although the outcome wasn't what we wanted, I made it through the game.  We have a long drive home and when we get in the car I pretty much pass out from exhaustion.  Grey Cup 2009 is in the history books!

Going into the big game

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The thing about bathrooms...

It has taken me awhile to write this last entry as I had to form my thoughts and figure out how I would say what needs to be said.  Cause let's face it, when it comes to bathrooms and talk of that matter, it's not the most pleasant of topics to talk about.  But it has to be said.  It is an integral part of my journey and one that has offered stressful situations, laughs and more concern than I care to remember.  So, here it goes...

I know that I have mentioned over and over that I have been struggling with the diarrhea.  It is a daily thing.  Some days it is manageable, other days it can send our whole world into complete chaos.  And all with little to no warning at all.

I will share a few stories to put it into perspective for you.  Ever since getting the parasite in Japan, trips to the bathroom could be an event for me.  A couple of years ago we went skiing in Jasper at Marmot Basin.  It was a good day of skiing but I did manage to have a minor spill that ended up breaking my thumb.  But that is just a side note.  After a day of skiing and looking forward to getting back to the hotel room to relax and clean up for the evening we had the long wait in the parking lot to get out of the ski hill.  As we were in line, I had one of my "attacks".  I have about a minute and then I will need a bathroom.  We are on the mountain, in a line of traffic and no where near a bathroom.  Panic sets in.  What do you do??

Well, you do what you have to do.  You jump out of the car, jump over a snowbank, land waist deep in snow, shift yourself around a bit dig out a hole and then you do your thing.  Yup.  That's what you do.  What else are you going to do?  The other options are worse.  You clean yourself up the best that you can with snow, you then dig yourself out of where you are (remember, I am in waist deep snow so it is not easy to get out), cover up the hole with snow and then try to climb back up out and over the snow bank.  You learn to always carry wipes in the car so that you can continue to keep your hands clean and then hope that the traffic will move soon so that you can get to a real bathroom.  We have a good laugh about it now (Glenn tells it as seeing his wife go over a cliff and disappear) but at the time it is extremely stressful to have to go through that.

Another thing that was common is we would have plans to go to something and shortly after leaving home I would be screaming at Glenn that he needs to find me a bathroom in less than 60 seconds.  Sometimes you are no where near a bathroom in 60 seconds.  One instant was we were going to see a friend of ours who was unfortunately dying of cancer.  While driving on the Groat Road towards the University area, I had another attack.  Poor Glenn has to gun it to get me to the Jubilee Auditorium and we pray that it is open.  Thank goodness it is and I run like a mad woman through the lobby of the Jubilee, through nicely dressed people heading to the Opera or something like that and I make it to the bathroom with mere seconds to spare.  Unfortunately, because when I have an ordeal like this, I am usually dripping with sweat afterwards and come down with chills and shakes so Glenn has to take me back home and then he goes on to visit our friend without me.  I never did get to say my last goodbyes to our friend.

I will tell you about one more driving incident when I had an attack.  We were driving on a freeway and I did my scream about needing a bathroom now.  Glenn took the nearest exit and we couldn't find anything with a bathroom in the near vicinity.  I was completely panicked.  I am going to crap my pants, literally.  We pull into someones drive way and they are not home.  I run into the back yard and try to conceal myself from the neighbours and do my thing.  Glenn can't believe that I am actually doing this.  But what else am I supposed to do?  We clean up and once again, I am thankful for keeping wipes in the car.  These stories are not easy for me to tell, but I think they have to be told.  It is a part of what I went through. 

Panic can also settle in when you are at home.  We only have one bathroom in our place and if someone else is in there, you have to kick them out.  That can be awkward at times, trust me.  My stepson has sometimes had to shower at our place after a sporting event when he is over on a Saturday.  There are times when he has been in the shower and I have had an attack.  Poor kid, I am pounding on the bathroom door and screaming at him in desperation to get out of the shower RIGHT NOW so that I can use the bathroom.  Thank goodness he is an understanding kid and was incredible through the whole thing but I hated doing that to him when he was in the shower.  It happened more than once to the poor kid.  But he handled it with grace and we avoided any disasters from happening.

It is now instinct to know where every bathroom is in any building.  It has become habit for me now.  Go to the mall and the first thing I do is locate where the nearest bathrooms are.  I never know when I will have my next attack.  You have to always be on the defense, more or less speaking.  And even after all the tests that they have done with my intestines and colon and such (and yes, they did continue to check for every parasite under the sun), they don't know why this is happening to me.  At one time I was just told to take Immodium every day to see if that helps me.  But that doesn't work.  That only tries to mask the situation.  It doesn't tell me why this is happening to me.  I won't take no for an answer.  I know that there is a reason for this.  I don't just jump over snowbanks, go to someones backyard, tell my stepson to get out of the shower for nothing.  I have to find the solution as to what is causing this symptom for me.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Concerts and Bathrooms

October 22, 2009 I go back to see Dr. Duggan the Internist.  We continue to go over everything that has been happening since last seeing him 10 months ago.  He is still baffled as to what is going on with me.  He still has no answers for me.  He says that he will have to continue to work with Dr. Boyko to come up with some plan for me as to getting me figured out.  Ugh.

October 28, 2009 is a VERY big and exciting day!!  Months ago my brothers and sister-in-law bought tickets to go see U2 in concert in Vancouver.  They weren't scheduled to come to Edmonton on this tour so we made plans to go there and see them.  We had no idea way back then that I would still be sick and could possibly miss this.  The time has now come.  Dr. Boyko clears me to go but tells me to take it easy. 

So away we go!  I think that the adrenaline gets me through the first part of the trip as it is exciting as always to fly somewhere, to go to another destination, to see people I haven't seen in awhile and to experience a great concert.  We were so lucky that our cousin who lives in Vancouver met us at the airport and helps us to get around town.  Thank goodness for the amazing transportation system in Vancouver!  We caught the train right from the airport and took it downtown.  From there we had to walk a few blocks to our hotel and drop off our luggage.  We made our way down to GM place to meet up with some people and then eventually have supper all together.  It was shaping up to be a great day.  The tingling in my face was very extreme and I just wanted to rip my skin off but other than that I was holding up not too bad throughout the day.

We are finally in at the concert.  During the opening act, things started to go wrong again with me.  I was hit with a wave of exhaustion.  And then my bowels started to go on me.  I made a mad dash for the bathroom, and there is a long line up.  I pray like no tomorrow.  I don't want to appear rude and ask to go to the front of the line.  I am getting really desperate.  Somehow I make it with about 2 seconds to spare.  But it is a bad episode.  I am dripping with sweat and the cramping in my stomach is insane.  And here I am in a public bathroom and trying to well, you know...keep everything under control.  After awhile, you just don't care anymore.  You are never going to see those people again.  I finally get through my episode and go back to my seats.  I hope that I can make it through the rest of the concert.  Thankfully, I am able to enjoy the concert.  Afterwards, on the walk back to the hotel we have to make another stop so that I can get some gingerale so that it will hopefully settle things down so that I can make it to the hotel without having to have another episode.  Once back at the hotel room, I finally "relax"...if that is even a word that I know.  At least I know I am near a bathroom and can deal with things if need be.

That night I am a frozen to the bone.  I can't seem to get the heat right in the room.  Finally at about 2:00 AM I call the front desk to see if they can help me.  They come up and make some adjustments and it starts to get warm.  I am shivering, and just feeling a mess.  This is no vacation, that is for sure.

The next day I catch the train out to the Abbotsford area as I am going to stay with my good friend Kristi and her family out there.  She is one of my best friends and was my maid of honor in my wedding and I miss her and her friendship so much since she left Edmonton.  We had an amazing weekend together.  We spent some time in the States doing a little shopping and were able to stay at their families cabin in Washington for a night and just have some girl time.  That weekend with Kristi did so much for me and was so needed.

November 1, 2009 my brother and I went to the Mat Kearney concert in Vancouver.  It worked out really well to tag this onto the trip.  My good friend from Minnesota plays in the band and not only do I get to see another good concert, I get to see my friend Tyler as well.  We have an amazing time at the concert and it is so good to catch up with Tyler.  I have so many good friends in my life, unfortunately so many of them don't live anywhere near me and any chance that I get to see them and reconnect is always so special and treasured to me.  Emotionally, I feel on such a high after this trip.  Good music, good times and more importantly good friends.  Physically it took a toll on me, but as I said before, and I will say it again...I would do it over in a heart beat!  Getting an emotional boost does wonders for the soul.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


At this point I think I should mention (since I forgot to in the previous posts) that they have been trying me on some medication to see if that helps.  I hate taking medications unless absolutely necessary and I don't like being a guinea pig.  But again, sometimes I have to try things because I am on an insurance plan and if they don't see that things are being tried, they will wonder if the doctor and I are trying to get me better.  It is a real catch 22 situation.

In March, 2009 they started me on the drug Cymbalta.  This is supposed to have great results with patients with Fibromyalgia.  The only thing this does for me is makes me more nauseated than I already am.  Should buy more stocks in ginger ale.  They decide to take me off it in June, 2009.  We see no effects so there is no use in taking it.

July 2009 they put me on Lyrica.  Again, supposed to have great results for Fibromyalgia.  There is no change whatsoever when I take this drug.  They take me off of it in October of 2009.  Seriously, you would think at this point that with trying both drugs and having zero effects from them, you would think that they would realize that I probably don't have Fibromyalgia!  But they still have no answers as to why I am the way I am and that diagnosis kind of catches some of the symptoms that I have.

Because of all this, I am now going to be sent back to Dr. Duggan, the Internist (The Dr. House guy!)  I am scheduled to see him again on October 22, 2009.  Let's see if he can come up with something since I saw him 10 months ago!! 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

October 1-15, 2009

Oh are one of my most favorite months of the year!  And this month continues to be challenging yet full of adventure and relaxation all in one.  Okay, I better go in order.

October 2, 2009, I have my second bone scan.  I love that I again get to put so much radiation through my body when I already know this is a completely unnecessary test.  But I gotta do what I gotta do.

October 5 is my birthday and I turn the big 34.  And I "celebrate" it in a way only I could come up with.  Okay, I gotta back track a little bit for this one.  On my September 10, 2009 appointment with Dr. Boyko, one of the things we discussed was me getting away for some serious R&R for awhile.  Doc gave me the go ahead to fly far away somewhere to do some serious relaxing.  That afternoon I excitedly booked my flight to Ottawa to visit my good friends Tim and Lisa Knapp who live just on the Quebec side of the river.  Lisa and I have been trying to plan a trip for me out there since they moved there from Calgary.  I was excited to be going there for the fall season and seeing all the beauty that happens out East with all the fall colors.  It was going to be the perfect thing for my soul.  Visit good friends and enjoy my most favorite season.  It doesn't get much better than that!

Kid you not, the next day, my friend Lisa got a call for her to go for surgery...she has been waiting for this phone call for so long and it is major surgery for her.  It is to be done the day that I was to arrive.  We both cry and try to understand as to why this is happening.  After so many obstacles for me to go out there, we finally have the biggest one in our face now.  I am not in any way mad about this, I am very happy for my friend as she seriously needs this surgery like last week.  We are just both so sad because the day before we were so excited.

So now I have a plane ticket and need somewhere to go.  We throw around a few options and they just don't feel like a good fit.  I then come up with the idea to go visit some friends in Phoenix, Arizona that I have not seen in probably 15 years or so.  I give them a call and they are more than happy to have me come down and stay with them.  They have to work during the week but I tell them no problem as I plan on spending my days just relaxing.  And relaxing by the backyard pool in the Phoenix heat seems like a pretty good way to fill my doctor's prescription!  I was able to change my flight and the morning of my 34th birthday, I left bright and early for Phoenix.

In all, I spent 10 days in Phoenix.  It was such a wonderful healing time for me.  Yes, I still had my issues to deal with day to day.  But there is something about being away from the stress of home (doctor's calling, insurance company calling and harassing, every day life, etc.)  It was good to reconnect with my friends and meet their family (they had teenagers who were so wonderful to be with and were very relaxing and fun!).  I would wake up in the morning, go out to the backyard and just sit by the pool soaking up the morning sun.  I would then have breakfast, get ready for the day (okay, put on a bathing suit, put on the sun screen, grab my book) and head back out to the backyard.  That was my day.  When it got too hot, I would go float in the pool to cool off, then go back to the lounger to have a snooze and get dry and warm again.  Vitamin D really is the best medicine.
My Phoenix Sanctuary

Our evenings were full of visiting, taking me to a few sites but for the most part, just pure relaxing and enjoying good company.  I did manage to do one big event while I was there.  I went to my first NFL Football game!  What a treat for me....a bucket list item in fact.  I was happy to attend the Phoenix Cardinals vs. the Houston Texans in the beautiful University of Phoenix Stadium.  My friend dropped me off early and I went and joined a tailgate party.  They were very welcoming to me, this lone Canadian trying to get the American experience.  The game was a thrill, Phoenix won and all in all it was a fabulous day!  One of the highlights for sure.  I happened to be down there for Canadian Thanksgiving (my friends are Canadian) so I treated them to a Thanksgiving dinner made by me, as a thanks to them for having me.  We had a lot to be thankful for.  Even though life can be rough at times, there is always so much that we can still give thanks for! 
At the Football Game

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and I return back home.  But I feel rejuvenated in my soul again and am ready to take on what is coming at me next.  The day after I got back, I go and see Dr. Davis about by bone scan results and of course, everything is fine, he has no idea what is wrong with me other than to keep pushing the Fibromyalgia word at me.  I am ready to keep pushing on to what is REALLY bothering me...

Friday, April 1, 2011

September 2009

I have my last rehabilitation appointment on September 9, 2009.  And it's not because I am ready to go back to work.  It is because my body wants to keep going backwards instead of forwards the more we push it.  Jay, my therapist says that he is done with me, he will write a letter to my insurance company telling them that he does not recommend further rehab until they know exactly what is wrong with me.  He does not want to be responsible for anything that could happen in the future.  We gave it a good honest effort and it just did not work out.  This makes my Rehab Consultant angry, she phones me and tells me that the chances of the doctors finding anything wrong with me is highly unlikely.  She doesn't officially say it (she knows she could be in legal trouble if she does officially say it) but she thinks I am nuts in the head.

I then have to make the phone call to report her for her recent outburst to me.  Seriously, the last thing that a sick person needs is to be making phone calls like this.  But I am literally shaking and can't let this go.  I report her and the insurance company is shocked by her behaviour.  I tell them that if I have rehab in the future, I will have no dealings with this woman, they will have to find me another Rehab Consultant.  They say that they will take care of the situation.  I never have to talk, or see this woman ever again.

An episode like that can really rattle a person though.  And she is not the only one that has hinted that my mental state is in need of questioning.  Just because I don't have any answers to what is going on with me, doesn't mean that people should jump to the conclusion that I am mentally unstable and that is what is causing my physical problems.  It is a very dark time for me.  I begin to question who I am, am I really sick or AM I mentally sick.  It is a battle that can really start to take over your mind.  I am thankful for my close network of people that I call and cry with.  They reassure me that I am not mentally going crazy, there is a physical problem with my body and one day the doctor's will figure it out.  They point out the blood work and the results that we have showing that something is definitely wrong.  It takes some convincing but I pull my mental state back up and I get back on track.  People have to be VERY careful what they say to people when they are sick.  Words have power and words can be very damaging.  I have cried enough tears.  I am done justifying myself to people for things.  At least for now.  Every day brings about a different challenge that you have to get through, but I know that slowly and surely, I will get through them.

In all of that, it is sometimes hard to have some "fun" moments in my life.  On days were I don't feel so bad and do something, I always feel like "Big Brother" is watching and I will get busted.  It is so insane.  I am still entitled to have a life.  If possible, I can still enjoy a gathering with friends or a football game etc.  Those few hours of fun, might only be the few hours of enjoyment that I will get that day, week or month.  I have to let myself enjoy them when I can.  But the words and thoughts of people will always haunt me.  I just want my life to go back to normal and I am trying to do that when I can.  Again, no sick person should ever have to think these things.  I have learned so much about judging people.  Until you walk a mile in their shoes, keep your mouth shut.

September 29, 2009 I have to go back to see Dr. Davis.  Remember him?  The wonderful Rheumatologist who is more concerned about his trips and lunches than patients...yup him.  I am to go back to him because of the relapse that I had in July with my joints.  Again, he is unsure as to what is going on but wants me to go for another bone scan just to make sure nothing drastically changed in the last 10 months.  I hope that nothing comes up and that I never have to see this doctor again.

September was a very hard month.  I am glad it is behind me.  October is GOING to be better...