Life's Path

Monday, March 3, 2014

Things take a bit of a U-Turn...

Time to catch up once again!  2013 was such a whirlwind of exciting and life changing events.  It was hard to keep up with everything sometimes.  But even before 2013 and all it's events, I have to back up to 2012.  This is were things begin. 

How do I begin, where do I begin?!?!?  I am back on track health wise, doing better than I ever have!  Loving how Isagenix has cleansed my body, given me a body that I only dreamed of.  I was back in the work force, getting my feet on the ground in the working world again.  I had taken on a new and challenging position with a local school board.  I was excited for the opportunity to be challenged and stretched in my career.  Glenn and I were still planning very full and active lifestyles.  We were going here and there, many weekends away soaking up and taking in all that life had to offer.  After spending so much of my life not well and turning down opportunities and not living life, it felt so good to be in this season.

But not everything was all roses and fun and games.  Many painful experiences happened along the way as well.  Some of them are too personal to share, some of  them just come with living life.  And although it was a part of life, at times it can be too much and overwhelming.  But let me back up just a little bit....I am getting a little bit ahead of myself in the story!

We had spent some weekends of the summer out and about on different lakes and in forests.  We loved the hot summer sun, the long boat rides, fires on the beach etc.  But after one such adventure in August, something started to "develop" on my right shoulder.  It wasn't painful, wasn't itchy, just was there and wasn't going away.  It was a red ring type shape and it was on my shoulder.  I still felt fantastic.  But this thing was there.  So I finally went to the doctor in September.

Of course I did some searching online to see if I could figure out what it was.  It kind of pointed to ringworm.  But when I saw my doctor, he quickly ruled that out.  It was something else but we weren't sure what.  Because of all our outdoor activity, he sent me for testing for Lyme disease. 

When the results come back negative, (which is a relief) we scratch our heads and try to figure out what is going on.  In the meantime, there are more of these "spots" developing on my body.  My torso, my arms, my back, my legs etc.  Again, for the most part, they do not bug me or are painful but they are there.  I now need to go see a dermatologist.  We don't know what is going on.  In the meantime I am sent home with a cream that needs to be applied 3 times a day to the spots to see if this helps.

I see the dermatologist in November.  By now, my body is being overtaken with these spots.  The cream has done absolutely nothing.  Only 2 of the spots affect me now with minimal pain.  Sometimes they feel deep and burning.  The dermatologist thinks she has a pretty good idea of what is going on but only a biopsy of one of the marks will confirm her thoughts.  So we biopsy one of the spots on my torso so that if any scaring develops, it is the least likely spot that people will ever see on me.  And now we wait for the results.  It is going to take a couple of weeks.  I won't be able to get an appointment back with the dermatologist until January.

In the meantime, my life is taking some serious blows, one after the other.  In total by December, I have in this year experienced 7 very stressful situations that I have had to deal with/go through.  My working situation was one of them.  Without going into too much detail, as there was many, let's just say that by December, I am in tears every single day that I am at work.  The situation is not getting any better, nor will it.  I have exhausted my options in terms of asking for help, trying to get this current disaster sorted out.  But it won't.  So on top of everything else that has gone on in the year, (the other 6 traumatic events) I am now a mess at work for 7 hours a day.  My supportive husband tells me every day to quit, give it up and walk away as it just isn't worth it.  I am too stubborn/prideful/caring about what other people think if I do walk away that I don't.  So foolish when I look back on it.  Why was I hanging on so tight to something that was so destructive?!?!?

It is the very beginning of December and I know that my biopsy results will be back.  I can't wait for the January appointment.  I cannot stand to look at myself as I am covered in deep red scabby looking sores on all over my body.  I call the dermatologist office and they have a cancellation.  They can see me on December 13, 2012.  I gladly take it.

Things continue to escalate at work.  The morning of December 13, I am in the basement of my work, in absolute tears, talking on my cell phone with my dear friend in Ottawa who has been with me through many journey's.  I tell her this is it, I need to walk away now.  She agrees but tells me I should at least wait until I see my dermatologist later that morning.  We should probably know what is going on with my skin and body before I just leave my work.  I agree that it is wise to do that, I can hang in for another hour or so.

Again, I just want to remind you, that even though my skin was an awful mess, I still felt absolutely fantastic through it all.  If these spots were not on my skin, you would never know that anything was going on with me.  I am so thankful that I had that!!

So I pull myself together and head off to my dermatologist to get the results.

But just to keep the mystery of what happens next...well, you will have to wait for the next post in the next day or two!!  ;)

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