Hyster Sister Club

So life is going good.  No major health issues have come up.  YEAH.  About time!  But there are a few loose ends that I want tied up.

As you may remember from reading, I have suffered from Endometriosis and Fibroids since I was 17 years old.  It has not been an easy journey.  23 years I suffered with this.  In and out of the ER.  Too many drug therapies which I wish now I had never done.  Too many laparoscopy surgeries to try help me along and clean things up.  My womanly parts have been through so much in 23 years.  And I was not going to be using them to have children.

A few years back, when I had my last laparoscopy surgery, my gynecologist said that there was nothing more they could do with surgery and there would be no more laparoscopy.  He said that we would either have to control this with medication or I would have to think about a hysterectomy.

As you know, I don't like giving up on my health.  But this was one area that I was tired of fighting with.  Every month was hard on me.  I wasn't going to do any more medications.  I had done enough and nothing had helped and I wasn't putting my body through that toxic mess anymore.  I had to make the choice.  So, when I turned 40, I told myself that it was time and I signed the papers to consent to surgery and wait for the call.

I got the first call in January of 2016.  I declined surgery at that time as I had just started a new job 3 months earlier.  I didn't want to take all that time off so soon after starting my job.  I told them to put me back on the list and to call me later in the year.

The call came late August 2016.  Surgery had been booked for September 12.  I had an immediate flood of emotions.  This was going to finally happen!  BUT, it was the day of my husband's birthday!  NO!  Talk about bad timing!  But I kept the appointment and then called my husband to tell him that I have ruined his birthday for this year.  He of course laughed at me and said he didn't care and what was most important was that I was finally getting this surgery done and we could move on with this stage of our lives.  So so thankful for the most kind and supportive husband EVER!

I only had a few weeks to prepare for this surgery.  And I went into go mode.  I did a cellular cleanse to help get my body in tip top shape before going under and having all that trauma done to my body.  I was cooking up and storing bone broth for the healing process after. I upped my essential oil routine to help make sure I didn't get sick and to ward off any germs in the hospital. I was making sure my body was prepared before hand and after the fact.  The body is amazing and takes care of you and will do so all the more if you help it out.  I was more than ready physically.  I also readied myself mentally and emotionally for this.  I had a great support group of some women who had been through this surgery recently.  I was able to pick their brains about what to expect and what to be ready for after.  Preparation is so key!

A great website that I was directed to was HysterSisters.  What a great resource!  http://www.hystersisters.com/  If you are going to have this surgery, I highly recommend you check this website out.  So helpful and resourceful.  And you become a Hyster Sister!  😃😊

The morning of September 12, 2016, I was the most calm and prepared as I have ever been for a surgery.  I knew this was the right step for me.  I didn't even get nervous when they gave me the IV (I hate getting IV's!).  Before I went into the OR, I placed my hand on my abdomen and said a goodbye to all the parts that were about to be leaving me.  I was so ready for this.

The surgery went well and I was so thankful that my health care benefits allowed me to have a private room.  THIS was KEY to recovery.  Having my own space was golden.  Just me and my husband able to hang out and do and say as we needed without interrupting anyone else or being interrupted by anyone.  Well, besides the nurses coming and going at all hours of the day and night but hey, they are just doing their job!  If you can get a private room after surgery, do it!  You will not regret it one bit.

There were some firsts for me with this surgery.  I have never had a catheter before.  Thankfully they put it in when I was asleep.  The only annoying part was the nurse coming in early in the morning (around 1 AM) and waking me to say that they could take the catheter out now as it had been 12 hours or they could wait until after 6 AM to take it out.  I thought this was the most bizzare question to ask me at that time of day!  Please, leave it in!  This means I don't have to try and get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I can just lay here and sleep and rest and heal!  Please nurses, you should maybe ask this question earlier in the evening so that the plan can be made before interrupting what little sleep one actually gets in the hospital.  Again I know they are just doing their job but seriously!!

Things went really well in my first 12 hours of recovery so I was able to go home the next day.  There is no place like home! Recovery is not joke, you need a lot of help.  You are not able to lift more than a loaf of bread.  You can't open doors etc as that is too much strain on the abdomen.  You need to take this seriously for a proper and successful recovery.  I couldn't drive until at least the 6 week mark of recovery.  And even then, that was really hard.  You don't realize how much pushing pedals works those ab muscles!  You literally have to rest, have people help you out and not do a thing for at least 6 weeks.  This is crucial!

I was very lucky to have lots of people come and help me out during the days and I got plenty of rest in my recovery.  Huge shout out to my amazing husband as he was so key in taking care of EVERYTHING and making sure I got the proper recovery.  Well, almost...that is for the next entry!  Stay tuned.  Life is always throwing curve balls. 

It's been awhile and much has happened...

I can't believe it has been so long since I last wrote.  That can be a good thing.  Things are going well?  Nothing to really report or say??  I guess so, but when I think about it, there is much to still say and report to you.  Health is a constantly changing and evolving thing.  You never know what can happen, good or bad.  So where do I begin...

Once we got the Lupus under control, it has gone pretty well!  I have not had a flare up and it never did go systemic to this date.  I am so beyond thankful for this!  I still have to be careful in the sun, still have to manage stress levels and always keep up with nutrition and supplements.  So far, 3 years later, all good!

But then little blimps come up here or there that we don't see coming and sideline us once again.  Yup, it happened.  Life was going good.  Having fun with friends and family.  Working with my brother and back at my old roots of Teen Time of Edmonton.  One of my best friends was getting married in just over a month.  I had the honor of helping to plan and coordinate her wedding.  It was lots of fun and the weekend was coming up and we had the bachlorette party coming up!  It was a Friday evening in June, I was running around doing last minute errands for the party the next day.  I had one last stop and then was going home to be with my husband to relax and watch a movie.  But, that did not happen.

I had just finished calling my husband to say that I was running a bit late but don't worry, I had one last stop and then would finally be home and we could have supper.  I then pulled up to my last stop across the street and parked the car.  I got out and ran across the street and went to jump up on the curb of the sidewalk.  I didn't make it.  My feet did not clear the curb and I went head first into the cement sidewalk.  The next thing I knew, I had people around me helping me up and asking me if I was okay.  I had the worst headache.  Blood was coming down the side of my face.  I wasn't okay.  At least I had the sense to tell someone to get the phone out of my purse and call my husband.  It was also a good thing that I had my crash right outside a restaurant so that there were people around to help and the staff saw what happened and were able to get me some ice and a chair to sit on.  My husband made it to me and so did the bride to be (I don't remember how she found out but was glad she could make it as well). 

After initial assessments were made, we decided that I probably had a concussion and would go home to rest.  My husband is a former professional athlete and has suffered his fair share of concussions so he knew how to take care of me.  That night the head pounding was intense.  The next day was better but I missed half the bachlorette party as we didn't think it would be wise to spend the whole time there.  The Sunday, I felt pretty good!  I had a good bruise but I was pretty much headache free and thought all would be well. 

And then we go to work on Monday.  Yeah, that's when the reality hit in.  As soon as I began to work on the computer, the headache came flooding back and I could not stand to look at the screen.  I tried to do as much work off the computer.  The next day, I tried to go to work again and it only got worse.  I knew that this was not good and I needed to see my doctor.  Doctor confirmed my concussion and so began a long 5 month journey.  I was not able to work for 5 months.  I suffered many debilitating headaches.  I couldn't remember things.  Light was bothersome.  I would be driving to an appointment and I wouldn't know why I was on a certain road or where I was going.  I would have to pull over and look and my calendar to see where I was to be going to remember anything. 

As long as it was, I was thankful for the time.  I did many massage therapy sessions.  I tried Cranial Sacral treatments as well which were very beneficial.  I did a float tank which was super cool. No sensory and floating in Epsom salts was super beneficial.  It was a lot of down time and very limited screen time during these months.  I wasn't even cleared for exercise until about 4 months in.  But all of that was so necessary to heal my brain.

I learned a lot in this time.  I was able to sympathize better with my husband and his post concussion syndrome.  I learned that time is the greatest healer and we owe our bodies that time.

The brain is an extremely precious tool.  We need to take care of it. 

Answers with my skin...And stress is evil.

Okay, I have to apologize as I have taken more than a few days to continue with my story.  Again, life gets away on you and before you know it, time has flown by! 

I left off with me heading to the dermatologist to see if we had any answers as to what was going on with the invasion of red spots all over my body.  When my wonderful doctor comes in the room, she looks at me with hopeful eyes and says we have an answer.  I have discoid cutaneous lupus.  http://www.lupus.org/answers/entry/how-lupus-affects-skin  I ask her how I could have gotten this, due to my current health conditions being so good.  She says most likely stress, and at that point I burst into tears.  She immediately starts asking me about things in my life and is overwhelmed with what I have gone through in the last year.  She immediately takes out her notepad and takes me off work indefinitely.   She says that my body has been in defense mode for too long and it is shutting down because of the stress and it manifested itself this way. 

In some ways I am relieved to know what is going on.  In other ways, I am saddened to know that the effects of events in this last year have done this to my body.  But again, I look at this as a way to learn.  Never again can I let stress and life do this to me.  It is awful how I look.  I am so thankful that it did not spread to my face and that I can cover this mess up.

Now that we know what we are dealing with, we know how to properly treat it.  I start off with two types of creams, one and antibiotic as the spots are open and we don't want them to get infected.  Another is to help with the inflammation that has occurred from the spots.  We start that, go off work and try to get life stress free (is that even possible???) and I will come back in a month to see how things are going.

I end up back in the dermatologist office in early January and things are not better, they are actually worse with the spots.  We have talked things over and because my body is in such a state of flight and fight mode, we have to get it to calm down so that it can heal itself.  I have to go on the awful, yet helpful drug prednisone.  It is a strong steroid that will take much monitoring.  It is the only option at this point.  I have even talked to my naturopathic doctor and she is in agreement.  Sometimes, you have to take things like this to help the body out.  So I start my prednisone treatment. 

And it is a miracle drug.  Within a couple of weeks, my skin is calming down and the spots are going away.  I still have to do the two cream treatment twice a day as well.  We call that connecting the dots!  Thank goodness my husband is a rock star and no matter how awful my body looks, he graciously twice a day plays connect the dots. 

Within a couple of months, I am spot free and my skin has healed up very nicely.  I have minimal scarring, which we are incredibly thankful for!  I can live with some scars.  I am staying away from stress.  The doctors are continually amazed that I have not gone systemic with the lupus (where it attacks the liver etc)  They tell me that my diet has saved me from going systemic.  It looks like I will just have the skin lupus. 

Which means I have to be careful in the sun.  Cover up, sunscreen.  I will always have pale skin as I will not be exposed to the sun in ways that I used to before.  But it is okay.  I can get used to a life of floppy hats and long sleeves.  The sacrifice is worth it.

I am going to post some pictures so that you can have a little glimpse into what my skin was like.  If you don't want to see them, then the post will have to end here for you.  I post these as a remind to myself to not let stress and life get me back to this point.  I have to take care of me, first and foremost.

Things take a bit of a U-Turn...

Time to catch up once again!  2013 was such a whirlwind of exciting and life changing events.  It was hard to keep up with everything sometimes.  But even before 2013 and all it's events, I have to back up to 2012.  This is were things begin. 

How do I begin, where do I begin?!?!?  I am back on track health wise, doing better than I ever have!  Loving how Isagenix has cleansed my body, given me a body that I only dreamed of.  I was back in the work force, getting my feet on the ground in the working world again.  I had taken on a new and challenging position with a local school board.  I was excited for the opportunity to be challenged and stretched in my career.  Glenn and I were still planning very full and active lifestyles.  We were going here and there, many weekends away soaking up and taking in all that life had to offer.  After spending so much of my life not well and turning down opportunities and not living life, it felt so good to be in this season.

But not everything was all roses and fun and games.  Many painful experiences happened along the way as well.  Some of them are too personal to share, some of  them just come with living life.  And although it was a part of life, at times it can be too much and overwhelming.  But let me back up just a little bit....I am getting a little bit ahead of myself in the story!

We had spent some weekends of the summer out and about on different lakes and in forests.  We loved the hot summer sun, the long boat rides, fires on the beach etc.  But after one such adventure in August, something started to "develop" on my right shoulder.  It wasn't painful, wasn't itchy, just was there and wasn't going away.  It was a red ring type shape and it was on my shoulder.  I still felt fantastic.  But this thing was there.  So I finally went to the doctor in September.

Of course I did some searching online to see if I could figure out what it was.  It kind of pointed to ringworm.  But when I saw my doctor, he quickly ruled that out.  It was something else but we weren't sure what.  Because of all our outdoor activity, he sent me for testing for Lyme disease. 

When the results come back negative, (which is a relief) we scratch our heads and try to figure out what is going on.  In the meantime, there are more of these "spots" developing on my body.  My torso, my arms, my back, my legs etc.  Again, for the most part, they do not bug me or are painful but they are there.  I now need to go see a dermatologist.  We don't know what is going on.  In the meantime I am sent home with a cream that needs to be applied 3 times a day to the spots to see if this helps.

I see the dermatologist in November.  By now, my body is being overtaken with these spots.  The cream has done absolutely nothing.  Only 2 of the spots affect me now with minimal pain.  Sometimes they feel deep and burning.  The dermatologist thinks she has a pretty good idea of what is going on but only a biopsy of one of the marks will confirm her thoughts.  So we biopsy one of the spots on my torso so that if any scaring develops, it is the least likely spot that people will ever see on me.  And now we wait for the results.  It is going to take a couple of weeks.  I won't be able to get an appointment back with the dermatologist until January.

In the meantime, my life is taking some serious blows, one after the other.  In total by December, I have in this year experienced 7 very stressful situations that I have had to deal with/go through.  My working situation was one of them.  Without going into too much detail, as there was many, let's just say that by December, I am in tears every single day that I am at work.  The situation is not getting any better, nor will it.  I have exhausted my options in terms of asking for help, trying to get this current disaster sorted out.  But it won't.  So on top of everything else that has gone on in the year, (the other 6 traumatic events) I am now a mess at work for 7 hours a day.  My supportive husband tells me every day to quit, give it up and walk away as it just isn't worth it.  I am too stubborn/prideful/caring about what other people think if I do walk away that I don't.  So foolish when I look back on it.  Why was I hanging on so tight to something that was so destructive?!?!?

It is the very beginning of December and I know that my biopsy results will be back.  I can't wait for the January appointment.  I cannot stand to look at myself as I am covered in deep red scabby looking sores on all over my body.  I call the dermatologist office and they have a cancellation.  They can see me on December 13, 2012.  I gladly take it.

Things continue to escalate at work.  The morning of December 13, I am in the basement of my work, in absolute tears, talking on my cell phone with my dear friend in Ottawa who has been with me through many journey's.  I tell her this is it, I need to walk away now.  She agrees but tells me I should at least wait until I see my dermatologist later that morning.  We should probably know what is going on with my skin and body before I just leave my work.  I agree that it is wise to do that, I can hang in for another hour or so.

Again, I just want to remind you, that even though my skin was an awful mess, I still felt absolutely fantastic through it all.  If these spots were not on my skin, you would never know that anything was going on with me.  I am so thankful that I had that!!

So I pull myself together and head off to my dermatologist to get the results.

But just to keep the mystery of what happens next...well, you will have to wait for the next post in the next day or two!!  ;)

Catching up!!!

Life flies by and you never know what is around the corner...especially with me!  I have a few things to update and it is time that I caught you all up with what has been going on in the past year.

As you know we made some changes to our diet.  Things were going well and we felt good but I knew that our bodies could be better.  So I was looking for ways to improve our bodies even more.

So I started looking into cleansing.  Whooo, now I know what you are thinking, why do you want to do something like that were you are sitting on a toilet!?!?!?!  NOT THAT KIND OF CLEANSE!!!

I am talking about doing a cellular cleanse.  We live in such a toxic environment, that I knew we had to help our bodies out more.  But I found out that finding a cellular cleanse is HARD.  Not much out there and I have high standards....lots of criteria to be met.  And then one day I got a call out of the blue...from someone that I didn't expect would give me the answer that I was looking for.

Glenn's ex-wife told me of a nutritional system that her and her husband had been doing.  She was concerned for me and knew of my health problems and she took a step of faith by going out there and telling me about this.  I listened, it sounded what I was looking for.

So I started my research.  And I liked what I was finding.  It was a cellular cleanse.  It was organic.  It was gluten free.  Not only did we cleanse our cells, we could then replenish them!  Are you kidding me?!?!?!  This was something that was available to me?!?!?!  I had to give it a try.  I had nothing to lose!

So on March 23, 2012, we began our journey.  We really didn't know what to expect, but we knew that something would happen.  And boy did things happen!  In the first month we both released around 10 pounds and 16 inches.  All we did was weekly cleansing and putting proper nutrition back into our bodies. 

We continued.  We gained so much energy.  Our aches and pains were no longer issues for us.  We were sleeping through the night.  I had my immune system back.  That was HUGE for me!  We felt so alive and so much better!  I knew that my body was capable of feeling better and functioning better!  It just needed the right ingredients and it took off and did amazing things for us.  We owe so much to Glenn's ex-wife for taking the leap of faith and telling us about this amazing nutritional company called Isagenix.

Not only did our bodies change, our personal lives changed.  We have mended our relationship with Glenn's ex-wife.  We now have family gatherings all together.  It has impacted our lives so much for the better.  We are truly truly thankful.

Shortbread cookies

It has been awhile since I have posted but things are going good so there really isn't much to update you on.  But I had to share this...

Christmas once again has come and gone and we had a wonderful season of celebrating with friends and family.  But sometimes, as strong as I am, I feel a little left out.  I mean, I am used to not being able to have all the goodies at functions, I get used to bringing my own snacks and treats.  I have found wonderful alternatives to some of my favorite things that I can eat.

But...sometimes I REALLY miss shortbread cookies.  My mother-in-law shared with me a few years ago her wonderful shortbread cookie recipe.  I always make a batch of them at Christmas time.  They are a hit.  But now, I can't eat them.  And I can't find any wheat/gluten free shortbread cookies that I like yet.  So it kills me that I can't have these!

But...I broke down and had one in a sheer moment of weakness.  I couldn't help myself.  And it tasted so GOOD!  I am not going to lie.  So GOOD!

Nothing bad happened to me.  At least, not right away.  I thought I could have gotten away with it.  Ah, it is not so simple.  Although I did feel sluggish (I tried to blame it on other things), my thumbnail started to grow back with the groove in it.  And now that it is in the final stages of growing out (which is the most painful!) I am continually reminded how much I should have left that darn cookie alone.

So lesson learned...even 1 little cookie can wreak so much havoc.  At least I wasn't stuck in the bathroom.  That could have been worse but at least it would have been over with in a couple of days.  This thumbnail has lasted for over a month.  A reminder never to do it again.

So the hunt is back on.  To find me a version of shortbread cookies that I will LIKE and won't harm me...

Thank goodness Christmas only comes once a year!

November 2011

I start this month off by seeing Dr. Game to see if my iron levels are any better.  Although my ferretin is up, I still border on the side of being anemic.  Dr. Game believes from looking at all my blood work that the problems stem from my under active thyroid.  We did extensive testing on my thyroid a few weeks ago and it shows that although the "normal" levels for TSH are good, when you look at my T3 levels, I am not converting the synthroid that I am on to help my thyroid out.  As well, my thyroid antibodies show that my thyroid is clearly not working right.  So Dr. Game says that until my thyroid gets straightened out, I will always be anemic so I need to go back to my doctor.

I see my doctor a few days later and tell him about my appointment with Dr. Game.  We change my thyroid med's.  This may help a little bit but it won't take care of the problem completely.  It is frustrating trying to work with doctor's sometimes when they just want to keep throwing a pill at you.  What we really need to work on is getting my body to transfer the med's to my body properly.  So I am a little frustrated but I will give this new dosage of med's a try for awhile and see if we get anywhere.  I guess my thyroid story is....to be continued...

I also have my follow-up appointment with Dr. Moysa.  He is very pleased (as am I!!) with the way my breasts are developing after the surgery.  Unless I have any problems, I no longer have to see him.  COMPLETE SUCCESS!!  Best thing I ever did for myself was have this surgery!  And good thing because I can now be a bikini girl.  Which leads me to our trip!

It is our 10 year anniversary this month and we are celebrating with a bang!  We decided 2 years ago that we wanted to do a big trip and started saving up all that we could.  We knew that we wanted to do a 2 week vacation, in the Caribbean somewhere where we could relax and enjoy just being the 2 of us!  We ended up choosing Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and on November 17 we left for 2 weeks of paradise.  We stayed at the 5 star, adult only resort called Royal Bavaro Catalonia.  We were able to get a suite with our own swimming pool!  It was pure paradise and we enjoyed every minute of our vacation.  Here are some pictures!  We even renewed our vows in a ceremony on the beach.  Pure bliss!

In our pool at our suite

In the main pool

10 year anniversary!

Vow renewal ceremony

October 2011

October 3rd I went back to see Dr. Game about the results from my CT Scan.  Of course nothing showed up and I don't have lymphoma.  I am still anemic and I have to up my iron meds once again.  I will follow up with him in 4 weeks time to see how things are going.

Things are going really well with my health.  I feel good.  Nothing crazy has happened.  I am healing up nicely from my 2 surgeries.  Life is on the up swing.   I am doing some reflexology which I absolutely LOVE.  Not only does it feel good to have your feet and calves massaged, it just works really well with my body.

Other than that, we are just gearing up to get ready for our big trip next month to Punta Cana to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  We have so much to celebrate!!

September 2011

So it has been about a month since my CT Scan and I haven't heard anything.  I follow up with Dr. Game's office and they say that the CT Scan revealed nothing and that I can see him for a follow-up appointment on October 3rd.  Phew, just as I thought, everything is okay.

September 6 I have my womanly physical with my gynecologist Dr. Mayo.  I am back to regular yearly checkups for my pap smears since I have been cleared by the colposcopy doctor that my cervix no longer has abnormal cells.  My appointment goes well and I ask Dr. Mayo about my surgery that I have been waiting for for over a year.  I have very heavy periods that last 7-10 days and they figure this is a factor in my anemia problem.  We discussed over a year ago of doing an endometrial ablation, yet I have heard nothing of this surgery to date.  When I tell Dr. Mayo that I am still waiting, he immediately tells me that he will check with his nurse.  He comes back in and says that I will be booked for surgery before the end of the month.  He is very apologetic and says somehow my paper work got put aside.  The office will get back to me in the next couple of days with a surgery date.

True to their word, I get a call a couple of days later and I am scheduled to go in for surgery in St. Albert on September 28th.  I am happy about this as I am still not working so we can get this procedure out of the way before I head back to work.  

Everything else with my health is doing really well.  I feel good, no, I feel GREAT!  Things seem to be really going along well.  I am looking for work, working out again, living life like one should be.  I am LOVING my new body.  So with this surgery, it will just fine tune one more thing and I will be a completely new person.

Surgery on September 28th goes off real well.  It is just day surgery so I am home that night resting.  The next day I am a little tired, probably from the anaesthesia but other than that, I feel good.  You would never know that I had surgery.  2 days later I am washing all the windows in our place for fall cleaning.  So happy that they were able to get me in and get this surgery over with! 

Now we just have to see what Dr. Game, my blood specialist has to say.  What is up with those high white blood cell counts in my stomach?  We will find out!

August 2011

August 3rd I go for yet another CT Scan of my abdomen.  I am so used to these that it isn't a problem for me.  But this time is different because I have not been using my arms.  A nurse had to help me get dressed in my gown (I can't lift my arms up).  All is good and then I get in the room for the scan and then I remember, you have to put your arms above your head for this.

I explain to the nurses that I just had a breast reduction and have not lifted my arms for a few weeks now.  I know that I will have to do so for the scan, but can we please wait until the last dying second to do so and can we do this as quickly as possible.  We do the best that we can and I raise my arms above my head and try to not think about the pain.  It is finally over and we take it easy getting me back off the bed and back into my normal clothes.  Just glad that it is over.  Home to rest and take more pain killers.

August 4 I have to change the tape on my incisions and since last week I almost fainted doing so, I get a nurse friend to come over and change it for me.  Everything goes well and I am sure that next week I will be able to do it on my own.  I again think that it was just all the med's and such that made me so woozy but I wanted to make sure that this week went smoothly with the tape changes.  And of course the next week when I did it by myself, everything went just fine.

August 18th, I am changing my tape and realize that my stomach is wet.  I look at my incision and I have a hole that is leaking fluid in my right breast.  Luckily my sister in law was over and I had her look at it to see what she thought.  She confirmed that it was a hole and that I was leaking but that it was small.  I clean up, tape up and call my surgeon's office.  They tell me that this can happen sometimes but not to worry, just to keep it clean and all should be okay.  I am scheduled to see Dr. Moysa in just a few days for another follow-up so I will leave it until then.

August 22nd I see Dr. Moysa.  Everything is going well except for this little hole that is leaking.  Dr. Moysa looks at it and confirms that it is normal and then he shocks it with some silver treatment to help it heal.  I am to keep that part of the incision open (no tape) and to keep a loose gauze over the hole to catch the leaking.

A couple of days later, I am really leaking from this hole and I think that the hole is bigger.  My nursing friend comes back over and yes, that hole has gotten a bit bigger and I should probably go back and have them check it out.  I mean I just am unsure!  I don't want anything to go wrong!

So the next day I go back to the surgical suite and they check it out.  Even though it has gotten a little bigger, it still looks normal to them and I am just to be patient as it needs to heal from the inside out.  Nothing to do but wait.  I leave reassured and pray that this thing will seal over very quickly!  They tell me it could be weeks before it heals and I just am not very patient at waiting for things like that.  So I will have to wait.  Keep it clean and all should be good.

I have now passed the 4 week mark since the surgery and I am so curious to know what size I am.  I know that I shouldn't even begin to think of shopping for new bras for at least 3 months after the surgery as there is much swelling and you don't know what you will be until then.  But I can't wait, I have to know a ball park figure as to where I am.  So I go to Victoria Secret.  A store that I have never been able to shop in before.  I tell them my story and say that I am not here to buy a bra (yet!) but would like a measurement.  They do this for me.  And I am so HAPPY!!  Can you guess what I am after the surgery???  Remember I was a 36G before the surgery.  Maybe this picture can help you out.  It is bra before surgery and bra post surgery:

Can you see the difference??????

I am now measured at a 36B!  A B!!!!!  That is what I wanted and that is what I got!  So super excited.  I will never get rid of that one 36G bra...it is a reminder of where I have come from.  The scars and pain are well worth it.  I would do this all over again in a heart beat.  Best thing I have ever done!!!

White Blood Cells and Changing Tape

July 26th, I go off to see the blood specialist Dr. Game.  We are to discuss the findings of the excessive blood cells that they found in my stomach when they did the biopsies when I was in the hospital.

Dr. Game doesn't miss a beat.  He goes right into explaining what could be going on.  He says we will need to to a CT Scan of my abdomen to check this out.  I might have Lymphoma.  He says he will be discussing my case with his colleagues at the Cross Cancer Institute.  

What?  Excuse me?  I am not expecting to hear this news.  Yet, it doesn't upset me because I know that this is not it.  I don't have Lymphoma.  If I did, I would be sick and I am not sick.  I get booked into a CT Scan for August 3rd.  I have had so many of these things, if I AM sick, it is because of all the stinking radiation from all these tests!  So off I go.  Another test and we will see what happens.

A couple of days later I have to change the tape on my breasts.  This does not bother me as I like things like that and blood and guts doesn't do me in like it does for other people.  But something happened on this day.  I changed my tape and I was so nauseated afterwards.  It really affected me for some reason!  Maybe it is all the pain killers that I am on, I don't know.  I spent the rest of the day trying to keep the nausea at bay.  I think next week I might need some help with this.  Good grief!

Healing from Surgery

Healing from surgery is always an up and down ride.  Sometimes you feel great, other times, you feel like, yes, you have had surgery.   Sunday July 17, I felt like I had surgery!  Although the pain wasn't what I thought it would be, the best way that I could describe this day was I felt like I had been in a fight.  And in a way, it kind of was like that.  I mean I was sliced and diced and suctioned and stitched and so many other things.  I think today was my worst pain day.  Again, thank you to the makers of Demerol and for sleep.  

Monday Glenn has to go back to work so we have friends come in for the week to take care of me.  Remember, I can't do much of anything for myself.  I can't even get a glass of water.  I am so thankful for the friends who came during the day to be with me, to feed me, give me my med's, help me get comfortable, whatever I needed!  I could not have survived without them!

Sleeping is the hardest part.  You have to stay on your back for a minimum of 6 weeks and I am not a back sleeper.  I so badly want to be on my side when I sleep but I cannot do this.  I struggle to get in any comfortable position.  Many pillows and such to try figure out what will help me the most.  Eventually, I kind of get in a groove of some sort but that was one of the hardest things about this surgery....sleeping on my back all the time.

I have to give a huge shout out to my husband as well.  Remember, I can't really do much of anything because I really can't use my arms.  Yes, I can go to the bathroom by myself, but it takes having the toilet paper roll strategically placed in the bathroom so that I don't have to reach for it.  Showering I cannot do on my own.  I can't raise my arms to wash my hair.  So Glenn has to shower with me and wash my hair and get me clean.  I feel like a little child again!  But Glenn just did everything that needed to be done without hesitation and was very gentle with me.  He was always scared that he would hurt me, but I assured him that he wouldn't.  You have to remember, my breasts are swollen, bruised beyond belief, have scares and I am taped up.  He had reason to be concerned and careful!

On July 21st, I go back to Dr. Moysa for a follow-up appointment.  Things are looking really good and he tells me what I need to do for changing the tape on my incisions for the next 8 weeks.  The trickiest part for me is going around the nipples.  During a breast reduction, the nipples are completely removed and then reattached.  But with the doctor's guidance, I think we can do this!  I will have to see Dr. Moysa again in a month for more follow-up.  Until then, I am to continue on healing and doing as I have been...which is nothing!

So things are going really well!  We have lots of help, I am just taking it easy, the pain meds are doing the job and I LOVE my new body!

I get a phone call, and, remember the excessive white blood cells in my stomach?  I am scheduled to see the blood specialist on July 26th.  More to come...

July 2011...Major Changes!

I can't believe that it is already July 2011 and over half of the year has gone by.  So much has happened this year already and there is so much more to come!  

I have been working temp jobs as I knew that I was having surgery on July 15th.  I am now in my last temp job and am in a fun assignment with the Office of the Public Trustee.  I am learning how to do dictation and work with a small but fun group!  What a way to end my assignments...on a good note!

July 11, I have my final pre-op appointment with Dr. G Moysa...my plastic surgeon.  I am nervous going into this appointment as I have not seen him since January and I hope that everything is still good to go.  I am so looking forward to my breast reduction that I don't want anything to go wrong with the date so close now.  I don't know why I was nervous.  Dr. Moysa met with me and we took our final "before" pictures and he gives me all the information that I need for the day of the surgery as well as all my prescriptions that I will need so that I can fill them before the big day.  Breast reduction surgery is painful so I will be on powerful drugs to help with the pain.  Thank goodness I can get Demerol as I am allergic to Morphine.  After this appointment, I am ecstatic!  I can hardly wait for the 15th to arrive.  I am going to be a new woman!

Now, you may be wondering why I chose to have this surgery.  Most people are kind of shocked when they hear that I choose to do this, they didn't think that I had a breast problem.  But I did.  I was a 36G in bra size and I hated it.  I always had to shop at specialty stores for bras and they were NOT cheap.  I longed for the days when I could shop at Victoria Secret and actually get a bra in a color other than black or beige.  Clothes shopping was another problem for me.  I always had to get clothes that were too big so that they could fit me properly up top.  I guess that is why people didn't really know I had a problem...I didn't dress to show off my breasts in a bad way.  So I hated shopping....in fact, if I didn't have to do it, I didn't.  It just isn't fun shopping for clothes and always getting a size bigger than you need.  And then there is the obvious weight issue of them.  At the end of the day, I hated my breasts.  They were heavy, they were in the way, they just hung there.  It was just so unnecessary to be that big with my size of body frame.  So these are some of the reasons why I chose to have the surgery.

My surgery is scheduled for 8:45 AM.  I am fortunate that I am getting the surgery done in a plastic surgery suite, not a hospital.  They take such good care of you in a suite, rather than a hospital.  The atmosphere is very relaxed.  You are given very comfy robes to wait in and it is just the best situation before you are to go for major surgery.  As I am waiting in my super comfy robe in my super comfy room, Dr. Moysa comes in for some last minute markings on my breasts so he knows exactly what he needs to do.  Just before he leaves I jokingly tell him (though I was being serious) that he shouldn't be shy, take as much as he possibly can.  He turns around and smiles and says that he will see me in the operating room.

I have never been so at peace as I went into an operating room.  Maybe it was the whole atmosphere of the place and the staff or maybe because I knew this was going to be such a great change in my life.  The staff was so incredibly kind.  I knew to enjoy the last few moments that I had awake cause when I woke up, I was going to be in for some super pain.

I remember waking up.  Yes, I was in pain, but not like I thought I would be.  The recovery room nurses were so attentive to me.  Immediately I was being given more pain medication.  The pain was not going to get out of control.  Also, when I wake up from surgery, I am usually very chilled.  They notice this immediately and without me even having to say anything, they put this machine on me called a "Bear Hugger" which is like a blanket type thing that surrounds your body and a machine is hooked up to it with a hose that blows warm air on you so that you warm up.  What a nice and pleasant thing to have.  Because let's face it, those "warm" blankets that they give you in the hospital are only warm for 30 seconds and then you merely have a blanket on you and you are still cold!  Because of the bear hugger, my body is able to calm down and not have to fight the cold and can just be.  The pain meds are working, I am warm and I am getting constant attention.  Every surgery should be like this!

After a couple of hours of being in recovery and knowing that everything is going okay, I am good to go home.  I am hooked up to drains and the nurses explain how they work and what to do with them.  I am dressed and put in a wheel chair and taken to the room where I will meet Glenn.  Thank goodness I knew a couple of people who had this surgery before and their tips to me were super helpful!  I am completely bandaged up around my upper body and even the smallest tips like having a zipped up hoodie are extremely helpful and so necessary right now.  How in the world would I ever have gotten a shirt or anything else on me?!?!  It is so good to see Glenn.  I can tell that he is worried about me, more so for my pain level and how that is going to go.  We are in the back of the building going out a back door...so Hollywood style!  But I get it...you really don't want to go out the front where people can see you and you are all bandaged up, can't move really well...those back doors for plastic surgeons are genius!

It is a slow process getting into the car.  Have you ever not used both of your arms before?  I am not going to be able to use my arms for about 6 weeks.  Slowly but surely, we get in the car, strategically place pillows and SLOWLY make the drive home as every bump in the road feels like a huge crater in the road.  But things are going really well considering.  We get home and I get into the recliner chair and from what I can remember, I go to sleep.  Glenn keeps up with my pain meds so that I can be as comfortable as I possibly can be.

Later that evening I wake up and feel a little wet.  Glenn looks at my bandages and I am leaking a bit.  Poor guy, he is so out of his element.  He is afraid to touch my bandages because he doesn't know if he will hurt me, or if he will damage anything.  He calls the doctor and the doctor tries to tell him how to change the bandages.  But it is like Fort Knox trying to get into them, I am so wrapped up and there are drains and so much stuff.  We finally called Glenn's sons girlfriend who is a nurse.  She immediately drops everything she is doing and comes over to help.  I don't know what we would have done without her!  She is able to help Glenn with the dressings and we get everything back to what it should be.  I do very well through this ordeal....Demerol is a beautiful thing!  We have to see the doctor again in the morning to have the drains removed so as long as I make it through the night, all will be good.

I don't remember much more about that first day...I was very heavily medicated and slept for most of it.  I can't do anything on my own.  Glenn sleeps on the couch next to me as I have to sleep in the recliner chair.  I have to be on my back for at least 6 weeks and getting in and out of bed will just be too much to handle.  If I have to go to the bathroom or anything, I will need help as I can't use my arms at all.  My abs and legs are going to be super strong by the end of this!

The next morning we go back to see Dr. Moysa and have the dressings and drains removed.  I am sitting in a chair that reclines while the doctor and Glenn take everything off.  I finally get to look down at my breasts to see what they look like now.  Glenn isn't sure that I should as they look pretty beat up at this point, black and blue, big scars etc.  But I can't wait to look!  When I do, I instantly smile...they are so small and they look great to me!  This is what I wanted.  Yes, they look like they have been in a serious fight but I know that they will heal and that they will be what I wanted.  We are given instructions how to take care of them and I will see the Doctor again in 5 days.  More about this in the next post!

Follow-up Appointment

June 8, 2011 I have my follow-up appointment with Dr. Zeman.  We will have the biopsy results back from my tests while I was in the hospital.

I see Dr. Zeman and she is not a happy camper that day.  She starts in on me that I have had problems for a few years now and have seen other specialists.  I confirm that with her and explain to her that she was the doctor that I saw in the Emergency Room and she was now following up with me.  She is not happy.  Great bedside manners.  I ask her if they got any results back from the biopsies.  She said that they really couldn't find anything other than I have an excessive amount of white blood cells in my stomach that we should investigate as it could be a condition called M.A.L.T or hyperplasia.  But she is quick to say it will probably be nothing.  Whatever...have them look into it as it is not something that is normal.  She is really starting to tick me off by now.  She then turns to me and says "I think in all honesty Lisa, you need to learn how to deal with pain in your life.  That seems to be the real issue here."  And then she is done with me.

Nice hey?  I have dealt with pain all my life.  I can deal with that.  I can't deal with extreme pain and bleeding out of my butt.  That is something completely different.  I am once again very discouraged as I leave this appointment.  The receptionist tells me that they will set up my appointment with the other specialist about the excessive white blood cells.  I ask the receptionist if I can get copies of the reports from my hospital visit.  She provides me with those and away I go.  Again, I am confused and hurt from this experience.  

I catch a bus home and begin reading my reports from the hospital.  And now I am MAD!  Right there in the report is how they couldn't get me to sleep during my colonoscopy and that everything I had said and asked for pain meds and such, it was all written out there in black and white.  I wasn't lying!  The doctors were lying....I don't know why they felt the need to but now I had my proof!  I wasn't going crazy, this really did happen to me!  There is nothing that I can do about it now, but at least I know what happened and the story is there for all time that cannot be disputed.  I hope that I NEVER see those doctors again.

On June 16, I had to go see Dr. Boyko (my family doctor) for some follow-up.  He has my hospital records and he is completely disgusted with the way that I was treated.  He also has the follow-up letter from Dr. Zeman and is not impressed with her lack of professionalism in her letter.  It is so good to know that my doctor is on my side and knows the real story of what is going on.  

At this point in my life, things are getting better.  The cramping in my belly has stopped.  I am no longer nauseous.  My doctor believes that somehow I got a massive infection in my gastrointestinal system and now it has worked itself out.  I am just so happy to be feeling good again and hope that nobody in the near future has to stick another camera up my butt any time soon...just saying!!

End of May 2011

The morning of May 22, 2011, I woke up feeling not too bad.  I thought that maybe Glenn and I could go for a walk as it was a nice day out.  We were going to be babysitting the grandkids as their parents were going to be celebrating their wedding anniversary.  But by lunch time, things changed.  I was in pain and on the couch.  Maybe I just needed to rest some more.  The pain didn't go away.  Nicole came and dropped the kids off and I was hoping to get better.

Not long after the kids got here, I was in extreme amounts of pain with cramping in my belly and I was on the toilet.  I was screaming in agony and the sweat was pouring off my body.  Glenn was trying to see if he could help me, while taking care of a 4 year old (who was very curious and wanted to know what was wrong with Granny Red) and a crying 6 month old as she was not happy mom had left and was probably upset as well with what was going on with me...she could probably feel the tension.  It was awful, no other way to describe it.  Poor Glenn was going out of his mind...what does he do, how does he handle all of this?

In between my screams of agony, I suggested that we call his other daughter to see if she could pick up the kids and take care of them for the evening.  It was apparent that we would be going to the ER once again.  The pain was out of this world.  We finally got a hold of Jenna to come and take the kids and then we went back to the ER...remember, doctor's orders from Friday.

We go into the ER and we get the same doctor and nurses as we did a month earlier in the ER.  They focus on getting the pain under control.  They ask what has been going on in the month since I was last there and we give them the update.  FINALLY, I get some relief from the pain.  They keep me in overnight to continue the pain control and then release me as I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Zeeman in 2 days.  They figure let her try and sort it all out.

I see Dr. Zeeman on the afternoon of the 25th and she says that she is going to admit me to the hospital that night so that we can do testing on me and try and get to the bottom of all this.  I am shocked...hospital?!?!  Well, maybe this will help us out.  I go back to work, finish out the day and call the temp agency that I work for and tell them I will need a temp to fill in for me as I will be in the hospital for the next few days.  How ironic is that...a temp filling in for a temp?!? 

I go home, pack a bag and we head to the hospital.  I get checked in through the Emergency and wait on a gurney there until they find a bed for me in the hospital.  It is a long night but I think around 2 AM they take me upstairs to a room.  I am going to be the 5th person in a room made for 4.  I have an incredibly small and very uncomfortable gurney that I will sleep on, in a corner.  They bring in a small divider to try and give me some privacy.  They tell me as soon as a bed opens up, I will move to a bed. 

The morning of the 26th, I am taken down for a CT Scan.  Been there, done that.  No big deal.  Tomorrow I am scheduled for yet another gastroscopy and colonoscopy.  My second one in a month.  Oh the joys!  The days are long as I wait for visitors and for these appointments.  I hate being in the hospital...especially since I am jammed into a corner with very little room to turn around.  In the meantime, I am prepping once again for a colonoscopy. I so despise drinking that awful stuff and running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. What a horrible night again of prepping!

The 27th in the afternoon, I am taken down for my colonoscopy.  Now this is like my 4th one in 2 years so I know the drill.  The on call GI specialist is going to be performing my colonoscopy.  I go into the room where they start to prep me.  No big deal, done this before.  They give me the dose that is supposed to put me to sleep.  Nothing happens.  They continue to prep and the nurse looks at me and says "You aren't sleeping?"  to which I say "Nope"  I think she tried to give me some more stuff and I was still awake.  They start the procedure.  It was awful.  I was awake and could hear and feel everything.  My mind did shut me down for a little while and took me to a better place...funny how the body can do that.  But I came back and felt and saw everything again.  I told them that I was awake, was hurting and asked for pain meds.  They wouldn't give me anything.  I started getting distraught.  It really hurt and I could feel when they were doing the biopsy of my colon and I could see it on the screen which was right in front of my face.

They finished the procedure and I was a mess.  It was very disturbing to go through that, especially when I knew that I should have been asleep.  I asked for pain medsmeds and it hurt so much and I was crying.  They wouldn't give me any.  I was very upset.  Luckily one of my roommates mother was there and she came over and asked me what was going on.  I told her through my tears and she called Glenn at work for me.  The whole thing really upset me to the point where the nurses finally came and gave me an Adavan...a calming drug.  It did calm me down and the roommates mother stayed with me and put cold clothes on my head until Glenn could come.  What a horrible thing to go through!

The morning of the 28th, Saturday, the doctor who did the colonoscopy comes in.  Glenn is there and is waiting to ask her about what the heck happened yesterday.  We ask her and she tells us that she heard what had happened and she was shocked as she said I was asleep for the whole procedure.  I told her that I was most definitely NOT asleep and even the nurse knew that.  She denied it and told me that they didn't see anything but we will have to wait until the biopsy results come back.  She doesn't think that there is anything more for me that they can do so she will discharge me.  I am thankful as I want to get out of that horrible place.  I forgot to mention that on the Friday afternoon, one of the roommates was discharged and they wouldn't let me move into the empty bed.  I couldn't wait to get out of my little corner.  But at the same time, the doctor discharged me without me eating anything for over 3 days and I still was on pain med's up until the hour that she let me go.  This place was a joke.  But I couldn't wait to get home to the comfort of my bed and to get some real rest.

I still continued to have pain and cramping but I just continued with the Buscopan and pain meds to get me through.  I will see Dr. Zeeman again for the biopsy results.  Until then, I just have to try and cope and get through and hopefully this will just all go away.

Follow up

May 4, 2011 we go back to see Dr. Marilyn Zeeman for the results of the colonoscopy.  Turns out that I don't have Chron's or Colitis.  Phew!  This is big news.  I can immediately stop the colitis medication that I have been taking for the past week.  The thing is, it was most likely a very bad infection that I had...and we have no idea how I got it.  There is no explanation for it, I have it.  There really isn't anything more that they can do for me.  I still have lots of cramping, especially after I eat.  I am told to take the medication Buscopan to help with the cramping.  It does help but why am I getting the cramps?  Will this go away when the infection goes away?

I am to monitor my symptoms for a month.  If I get better, great!  If I don't get better, or I get worse then I am to come back to the doctor.

The next 2 weeks are off an on.  Somedays I am okay, other days are crampy but manageable.  I finish my assignment with my first temp job on May 6.  I am sad to leave it as it was a good place to work.  I am to start my next assignment on May 12 at a family violence center.  I seem to be doing pretty good.  I even do a run for the food bank on May 14th.  I am visiting people and doing things and working once again.

May 20th, I start to have some serious cramping at work.  It is Friday, before a long weekend and I don't want to be suffering through the weekend.  I can get in to see my doctor right after lunch.  I see him and again, he is concerned and just wants to know what the heck is going on with me.  He gives me some pain meds and some strict instructions that if I get worse on the weekend, I am to go to the ER immediately.  I promise him I will be a good girl.  I go back to work and finish off the day.  The drugs help with the pain and I continue to take the Buscopan.  By that night I went to bed feeling okay.

Saturday May 21st I feel great!  It is a beautiful day and we enjoy it.  We are going to a friends house for a pig roast, how fun!!  It was a wonderful gathering and we had a lot of fun.  But by the end of the night, I start feeling sluggish and tell Glenn that we should probably head home.  I was very good to watch what I ate and didn't overdue it at all.  It was just probably a lot going on and the warm day just probably wore me out.

Oh how I love to stay positive...

Easter

Easter is upon us.  We are looking forward to a long weekend of reflecting on what our saviour did for us, as well as spending time with family and friends.  We head up to the farm on the Saturday night to be with my brother and his family.  There is also another family of friends that will be staying out there as well...I think there are 7 kids in total!  We hide Easter eggs for the big hunt on Sunday morning.  We had a fun time with my brother, staying up late, telling stories and laughing until we were crying!

Sunday morning was an early one with 7 kids looking for Easter eggs.  It was so cute to hear the excitement in their voices as they found eggs around the house.  We then managed to get everyone fed and dressed and out the door for church.  After church, we had more family joining us and we were having a big potluck lunch for our Easter dinner.

I made sure that what people brought was either wheat free, or if it wasn't, I would just not eat it.  Everyone was so helpful and willing to give me the information.  We had a wonderful spread of food and it was an enjoyable time.

And then my world changed.  About a half hour after eating, I started to feel bloated.  Okay, I didn't think I had overeaten but maybe I had a little too much of something.  We were getting ready to leave as we had to get my stepson back home to his mom's family dinner.  We agreed to a quick stop at my aunt and uncle's as they have been building a new home and we wanted to get a quick look at it before heading back into the city.

I managed to make it up the stairs to the top floor of the house for the tour, and then I disappeared into the bathroom.  The intense cramping started.  And then the diarrhea.  And then the sweating.  Glenn realized I was no longer a part of the house tour and came looking for me.  I am stuck in the bathroom, suffering.  I can't believe this is happening. 

I was in the bathroom for over 2 hours before I could leave.  It was awful.  Yet in someway I was thankful that we had made the stop at the house or this could have happened on the side of the road somewhere.  I am very weak but feel that I can make the trip home.  We get back to the city without any incidents.  Not long after we get home, I am back in the bathroom again.  I have nothing left in me to empty.  And now I am scared.  For the first time, there is blood in the toilet.  I know that it is not a good sign when you have blood coming from your bowels.  I call my friend who has some knowledge of this and I know that I have to get to a doctor.  I pray that my doctor is working the Easter Monday so I can see him.

The Monday morning I call in sick to work (I am only 3 weeks into working and this is happening...NOOOOO!) and then call my doctor.  He is working!  We go in and see him.  I am still having cramping and bleeding.  He is very concerned and tells me to go to the emergency room immediately.  And off we went.

When you bleed from you bowels, you don't wait 6 hours in the waiting room.  But we still had to wait almost 2 hours before being seen by a doctor.  They immediately put an IV in me and start doing blood work.  After sometime, they start prepping me for yet another colonoscopy.  Man, I am beginning to hate these things!  So all through the night, I am drinking the crap once again and emptying whatever could possibly still be in me for a Tuesday morning colonoscopy.  At around 3 AM, I send Glenn home so he can get some sleep.  Sleeping in a chair is not good and I am not going anywhere until the colonoscopy so he might as well be in a bed at home.  He reluctantly leaves me alone but I will be okay.  I am surrounded by nurses and doctors if anything happens.

Let me tell you one thing...remember all my stories of prepping for colonoscopies at home?  How you need a bathroom NOW?!?  Well, it is really fun doing it in the emergency when you have to share a bathroom with people.  You pray to God that nobody is in there when you need it.  The nurses are good though.  I started running for one and they could see that it was occupied so they quickly told me to head for the other one...I made it just in time.  What an adventure!

Tuesday morning, I have to call from the emergency room to my work to let them know that I won't be in again.  Shortly thereafter, I go for my colonoscopy.  Doctor Marilyn Zeeman is the Gastro specialist on call and she will be doing the procedure.  They put me out and do the procedure.  And this time they found something.

My colon is very inflammed and red.  They aren't sure what is going on until they get the biopsies back.  But it is 1 of 3 things.  1.  Colitis  2.  Chron's  3.  An infection

They start treating me for colitis as it looks to be that this is the one thing that it may be.  Doctor is hoping not, she is hoping that it is number 3, and infection.  But the thing with an infection is where did I get it?  I haven't travelled anywhere, drank any bad water etc.  It is a mystery.  I will see Dr. Zeeman

We go home and I rest for the remainder of the day.  I hope that I can go back to work tomorrow. 

Even though I am weak, and still very crampy, I head back to work on the Wednesday for the rest of the week.  Let's see what the results bring about in May.  It is a long week as I wait for that next appointment.

Working girl!

April 4th...the day I start back to work.  It has been 2.5 years since working.  I am excited and nervous all at the same time.  I mean, I feel good, but what will happen when I start working 8 hours a day?  Can my body adjust?  There is no easing back into it...it is full time right off the bat!

I am doing temp work and have a position for 4 weeks at a home health place.  It is 6 blocks from my house so I am able to walk to work and only have to encounter one street light.  Life is too good!  It is a small company...only about 15 in the office so it is a nice transition back into the work force.  The people are very friendly and helpful.  There is even a co-worker who is celiac so she gives me helpful tips as well and we swap information back and forth.  I enjoy the work pretty much immediately.  It feels good to be back and contributing something again. 

The first day goes by...and I feel fine!  I am not tired.  I know that I can do this.  My body is going to cooperate with me.  Even by the end of the first week, I am still doing very well and have no problems with energy and putting in full days.  I am so happy! 

Ah...is this the beginning of a new life?!?!?!

Interesting Things

Now that I have been wheat free for 7 months, not only do I feel so much better, but I am noticing some other things as well.  One of the strangest things that I have had for sometime has to do with my thumb nails.  When they grow, they have deep grooves that grow horizontally on them.  They are very painful when they grow out and for years I have asked doctors if they know what causes this and what I can do to fix it because it is so painful.  Nobody ever had an answer for me.  Until now...

Ever since going off the wheat, my thumb nails grow out 95% smoother now.  The horizontal bumps are so minimal now and it no longer hurts me.  It is one of the craziest things.  Was it wheat that was causing my thumb nails to grow all weird like that?  I have to kind of believe that it did as they are almost completely normal now.  Who knew that it could have that effect on my body as well.  But for now, I am happy to have them looking normal and to not have to deal with the pain of them growing out.

I found this article the other day and I wanted to include it here as it describes so many things that I went through.  Again, I am not celiac, but there are many similarities with celiac and wheat allergies that cause many of the same symptoms.  I can eat gluten, though many times I do not as it is just easier to look for gluten free foods than wheat free foods.  Here is the article.  Maybe it will help someone else out as well.  I know when I was having my neurological symptoms and there were no easy answers it was so frustrating.  Why was I having them?  Well, we know why now, but how many other people are suffering and don't know why?

Although the small bowel is one of the main targets of the disease, increasing evidence indicates that celiac disease can affect other organs, including the nervous system, thus changing the clinical scenario from what was once thought of as an intestinal disorder to a broader systemic disease...The most frequent manifestations of such an association are cerebellar ataxia and peripheral neuropathy. Gluten can also be involved in the pathogenesis of epilepsy, as there is robust evidence that drug-resistant seizures (mostly of the complex partial type) and epilepsy with cerebral calcifications are pathogenetically linked to a gluten-dependent mechanism, as indicated by data from our group and others. Other neurological syndromes, including multifocal leukoencephalopathy, dementia, myoclonus, myopathy, myelopathy, stiff -man syndrome, and multiple sclerosis, have been occasionally reported in association with coeliac disease and gluten sensitivity. To better establish the role of gluten sensitivity in neurological impairment, three areas serology, genetics, and clinical response to gluten withdrawal-should be considered...In patients diagnosed with cerebellar ataxia or peripheral neuropathy of recent onset, a strict gluten-free diet is often followed by a notable improvement of neurological symptoms, thus confirming the link between gluten and neurological abnormalities.
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Volta U., De Giorgio R., www.thelancet.com/neurology Vol 9 March 2010

March 2011

I am getting nowhere with this back to work stuff.  No one returns my calls from long term disability, no one returns my calls from work...nothing.  I have no clue as to what is going on or what I am supposed to do.  It is beyond frustrating.  When you can't go back to work, they hound you to get back to work.  The minute you tell them you can go back to work, no one seems to want to talk to me or help me out.  I am lost.

I try not to stress out about it because there is nothing that I can do about it.  I have done everything that I can.  Yet, the days are going by, my disability will run out on March 31st and I don't know if I have a job to go back to or if I should be looking for a job.  What would you do?

I finally put in one last call to my work on March 17.  They hum and haw and say that they need to meet with me.  Really?  Wow...why did it take so long to come up with this conclusion??  The date is set for March 22nd.  They tell me I should bring my union rep with me to the meeting.  And there we have it.  With those simple words, I know exactly what is going to happen.  I call my union rep and she can come to the meeting with me.  We discuss what we know (which is really nothing) but I tell her I see the writing on the wall.  They are going to get rid of me.  I just know it. 

And you know what?  I am perfectly fine with that.  In fact, it is one of the biggest blessings to me.  I have known for sometime that going back to my job was not the right thing to have happen in my life.  I had to mourn the loss of my job and I did that a few months back.  I loved the work that I did...I truly did.  But the work environment I needed to change.  So I anticipate the news that I will receive on the 22nd.

The morning of the 22nd arrives and I meet with my union rep at my work.  It is weird to even be at work again.  It has been over 2 years.  But I am calm and I am ready.  We go up and meet with the Human Resources reps.  Within mere minutes, I had my separation letter.  They explain why (restructuring is a great word isn't it!).  I am filled with such calm and such joy.  Really, truly I am.  At least I finally know where I stand.  I can move on with my life.  We sign the necessary paper work, I get my copies and the union rep makes sure that everything is legit.  My union rep asks to have a few minutes alone with me.  She asks me if I am truly okay.  I tell her that I am beyond okay.  I am going to be just fine.  I am just relieved to have this all over and done with.  My new life is going to begin.  They lost a good worker today.  I will be just fine.  My union rep gives me a hug.  She is not used to this reaction...she is usually dealing with people who are devastated by the news.  But this is a God thing and that I know for sure.

I walk out of that building for the last time with my head held high.  I know who I am, what I have done, where I have come from and am completely thrilled with the thought of what is yet to come for me.

Being the type of person that I am, and knowing that I was going to receive this news, I already had a resume ready and I walked into a temp agency to register with them.  I know that I have my upcoming surgery so I know that looking for temp work will be the best course of action for me.  I do my skill testing, have my interview and fill out the payroll paperwork.  I finally head home for the day.

The next day I am offered a job.  Things are working out well.  Lisa Harper is going to be okay.  I am back to living my life once again.  April 4, I am ready to enter back into the work force!